Last Goodbye, New Beginning
by aynat
Summary: Lorelai says goodbye to her best friend and struggles with the daily reminder he's asked her to look after. FINISHED
1. Prologue

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** One from the last eppy of season five on... in chapter four.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

**Author's Note:** I like shorter chapters... so you'll notice this story will have more, shorter chapters.

* * *

**Last Goodbye** is a song by **Miranda Lambert**. Check out her cd _Kerosene_ for this song and many other great ones!

* * *

_We used to sit for hours  
And listen to the rain  
You'd hold me on the porch swing  
While our troubles washed away  
And daddy'd come and get me  
Girl it's time to come inside  
And I'd say just a few more minutes  
Daddy please we need a little time  
To say our last goodbye_

Time flew by so quickly  
And our love slowly died  
We both knew that we had grown apart  
Neither one knew why  
You told me you'd come back when  
You made up your mind  
Now all those memories faded  
All except the night  
You said your last goodbye

I know you needed time to find yourself  
But I can't keep my heart up on that shelf

Boy it's been a while now  
Since I heard your voice  
I didn't want to call you  
But my heart left me no choice  
I just called to tell you  
That I'm really doing fine  
That I been doing lots of thinking  
And I finally decided it was time  
To say my last goodbye  
Oh, goodbye  
Goodbye

* * *

Lorelai wiped a tear off her cheek as she looked at herself in the full length mirror on her closet door. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to focus, the clothing that draped around her just blurred into a black aura. She'd gotten the call a week before and couldn't seem to see straight since. It didn't make sense, it just wasn't right. She liked how things were going, she liked the way things were. Why did it need to change?

She didn't turn around as she heard someone come into the room. Shaking softly she jumped when a hand reached out and squeezed her shoulder. A whisper that everything would be alright once this was over, she would move on. But she knew the truth, destiny was playing a cruel game with her heart. 


	2. Chapter One

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** One from the last eppy of season five on... in chapter four.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

Lorelai looked around the room at everyone, all the sad faces. They were all crying but she had stopped, she just couldn't anymore. She'd cried enough, that's what she told herself. Holding on tightly to the hand of the person at her side she squeezed it, but she couldn't look over. They hadn't spoken since Lorelai had given the news. Two broken hearts didn't have anything to say.

A baby cried but Lorelai couldn't look towards the sound. It sounded so desperate, it was the perfect sound for the moment she thought. She heard someone try to hush the crying child and Lorelai wanted to shout to let the baby cry. She wanted to cry again now. Taking a deep breath she realized the hand she was holding was shaking, or was it hers? She couldn't tell. Probably both.

As 'Amazing Grace' sounded out from the balcony above Lorelai closed her eyes. She had been to funerals before, she always said they were a way to say goodbye. But that was the problem, she didn't want to say goodbye. She never could say goodbye... he had that on her.

* * *

"Mom, are you ok?" Lorelai shook herself back to the present as she looked over to her daughter. "You're not breathing."

"I'm fine honey," she lied, "how are you holding up?"

"This is weird," Rory whispered. "I'm upset and yet, I feel like I'll wake up any minute. I mean, this isn't real, this can't be real." Lorelai felt the tears burning behind her eyes and told herself she couldn't cry, she needed to be strong.

"This is real," she whispered. Rory gave a slow nod and turned back to the front as the preacher stepped up to the podium.

Lorelai tried to tune him out. She knew what he would say, everyone knew what he would say. He was a good man, a kind man. He had a hard time showing love, but he still loved with all his heart. He waited to long for the right woman, when he could have had her a long time ago. Well maybe the preacher wouldn't say that, but Lorelai knew it was true. She was that woman. She knew loved her, she knew the two of them were meant to be together. But now he was gone. How could she cope? "This is real," she whispered again.

**PLEASE REVIEW BEFORE READING FURTHER! PLEASE!**


	3. Chapter Two

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** One from the last eppy of season five on... in chapter four.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know how evil I was posting only what I did... but I did that to scare you. I knew how you would react, and I knew you'd be back.

* * *

Christopher had always been Lorelai's true love, she knew that. Timing was never right though, and now it never would be. Not that it ever would be anyways, she had Luke. She was happy with Luke. There was a future with Luke. And yet, it seemed so strange to know the possibility of her and Christopher would never arise again. She was in her mid-thirties, with a grown daughter, but now she knew... she was all grown up.

As Lorelai left the church, Rory was behind her, talking with Christopher's mother and Lorelai hoped that nothing would happen to upset her daughter more today. She knew when they got back to Stars Hollow they would go straight to Luke's cafe, and she knew it would be closed. But he would be there. For her. For Rory. She silently thanked him as she headed towards her jeep, knowing the reception would make that moment take forever to come.

And it did. Lorelai shook as she tried to sip her drink, whispering to herself not to have more than one. She wanted a drink to calm her nerves, but she didn't want to have to come back tomorrow to pick up her jeep. She wanted to spend tomorrow with with Rory and Luke and maybe...

"Gigi!"

Lorelai looked over to see Christopher's mother holding his second born daughter. Lorelai noted how much the child had grown since the last time she'd seen her, and said a silent prayer for the baby. She knew it would be dreadful for that child to be raised in this household, with that woman. She wished there was something she could do for her.

"Ms. Gilmore?" Looking up a man in a pressed, dark blue suit offered his hand. "Mr. Laymen, I was Christopher's lawyer."

Lorelai shook his hand, trying to keep herself from shaking. She'd met a ton of people today, mostly family of Christopher's who never made any sign that they knew of his first born child. But she didn't expect to meet his lawyer today. She was already made aware that she would be expected to attend the will reading, which made sense since she was the mother of his first daughter. She still couldn't believe he had a will. Prove, she figured, that he really had changed... really had grown up.

"Ms. Gilmore?" Lorelai shook herself back into the present and apologized. "It's no worry," he assured her," today is a difficult day."

"It certainly is," she whispered.

"I'm sorry to do this now, but I really must," he continued. "Christopher's daughter Georgia's mother is in Europe. She was contacted but apparently had signed all custody over to Christopher and wants nothing to do with the baby now."

"What?" Lorelai said.

"Now as you know, Rory is Georgia's godmother," he told her. "However, in Christopher's will he says that custody is to be given to you."

"Me?" she asked.

"Yes," he assured her. "He intended to tell you. It was just this way until your daughter was out of college," he said, trailing off.

"Wait, he wants _me_ to raise Georgia?" Lorelai repeated, confused.

"Yes Ms. Gilmore, those were his wishes."

The rest of the reception was a blur for Lorelai. She couldn't bring herself to comprehend what the lawyer had told her. He wanted her to raise Gigi. She couldn't understand why he choose her. Then she saw Rory sitting on the staircase with her head down. Then she knew. Christopher wanted her to raise his second daughter because she did well with the first. Rory was everything Christopher could ask for in a daughter, and he wanted that for Gigi. It was then Lorelai realized Christopher didn't pick her for a bunch of reasons, just one, Gigi.

* * *

Rory hadn't said a word to her mother since she received the news that her dad had died. In fact, she hadn't said a word to anyone. When her mom had phoned to tell her she asked if she wanted to drive to the funeral together, and Rory had agreed. No matter what, she wanted her mother beside her through all of this. They were going to need each other, she realized that. Rory knew her mother had Luke, and that Luke would be there for her, for both of them. But they had lost her dad. Christopher Hayden was dead. No matter how good Luke's intentions were, his being around was difficult right now. He was in the position of a father figure to Rory, always had been. But now she'd lost her father, she didn't want another one. Not yet. She loved Luke so she prayed it wouldn't hurt him, but deep down she knew he understood. He had given them both space, just being there as the shoulder, the maker of food, the clothes washer, and anything else they needed.

Rory realized then that her mother was lucky to have found Luke, but she didn't think Lorelai Gilmore could realize that right now. She had lost the biggest piece of her youth, and Rory knew it would take time to see the real Lorelai again. Rory also knew it might never be the same, because with Christopher gone things couldn't be the same. It still didn't seem real. 


	4. Chapter Three

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** One from the last eppy of season five on... in chapter four.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

_"Dad, dad, what is it?" Lorelai asked as she moved the phone to her other ear. She was in a hurry and didn't want to have to do the run around thing she always did with her parents._

"Are you sitting down," her father asked. Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"Yes dad, I'm sitting down," she retorted as she ran into the kitchen to grab her purse off the table. "In fact I'm laying down, I'm tied down, you're on speaker phone."

"Lorelai please," he said and Lorelai stopped. His voice was quiet, and soft... he didn't sound like Richard Gilmore.

"Is it Rory?" she asked. "Dad, what's going on."

"Rory is fine," he assured her. "In fact, she doesn't know yet. I thought it would be best if you were the one to tell her."

"Tell her what dad?"

"Christopher died this morning," he said.

"Christopher who?" she asked as she grabbed the keys off the counter. "Is that a friend of hers from Yale or something?"

"Lorelai, _Christopher_ died," he repeated. Lorelai stopped.

"Christopher?"

* * *

Lorelai couldn't remember any of the phone conversation after that. _Everything_ had become a blur. She was griping her steering wheel so hard it hurt, but she didn't care. The pain was nice even, she had felt so numb for the past week.

She still couldn't believe Christopher wanted her to have custody of Gigi. But more than that, she was upset he hadn't told her. Of course, they hadn't talked much lately. She didn't think he'd talked to Rory much either. But that's Christopher, gone one minute, around the next. At least that _was_ Christopher, now he was just gone.

Lorelai began to cry as she thought this. Everytime Christopher came around she would tell herself she wouldn't be able to say goodbye when he left, but everytime she found the courage to anyways. But this was different. This was the last time.

Rory looked over at her mother, at the tears on her cheeks. She thought she should be crying as well, but she wasn't. Surely one should cry when they're going home from their father's funeral. Rory felt so guilty though, because the only thought she had was that this wouldn't change anything. 


	5. Chapter Four

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

Over the next few days Lorelai had discussed what the lawyer had told her with everyone... Rory, Sookie, Michelle; but they all said the same thing. She needed to decide things on her own, but she knew what she had to do first. She had to tell Luke.

It had been four days since Christopher's funeral. Every day she would find messages on her answering machine and voice mail from the lawyer and Christopher's mother. But she wanted more time. She needed more time. Luke had been there since she got back, right by her side. He knew her well enough to know something was troubling her, but he didn't ask. She knew he would wait.

* * *

It was another three days before she finally sat down with him. Their days had become routine, but she realized that for Gigi's sake, she needed to end this all. Sitting Luke down on her couch that evening she simply told him everything. She didn't dance around the issue, or weigh his opinion anyway, just stated the facts.

When she finished Luke let out a deep breath. She could tell his mind was running a mile a minute, she could swear she heard the gears grinding. But when he looked up he simply said, "This is something you need to decide."

"What?" Lorelai asked as she stood up. "No, Luke, you need to put in your input to. This will affect your future and --"

"Lorelai, you've already decided," he told her.

"What are you talking about?" She stared at him like he just told her she was from another planet. "I have not decided or I wouldn't be asking your opinion."

"You said it'll affect my future," he repeated back to her.

"Of course it will!"

"Why?" he asked. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Luke Danes, we are engaged," she stated. "If I take custody of Gigi you will either leave, God forbid, or be stuck raising a child that's not your own."

"And if you don't take Gigi?" he asked.

"Wwwell," she stammered, "nothing."

"Exactly," he said quietly as he stood up. Putting his hands on either of her shoulders he looked her straight in the eyes, "It'll change my future because you already know what you're going to do." 


	6. Chapter Five

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!  
**Author's Note:** I'd like to thank y'all for the kind reviews, they keep me writing. -)

* * *

It had now been two days since her conversation with Luke, and Lorelai hadn't managed to get out of bed. They hadn't said much more, he simply left to let her think about things herself. And think she did. But she knew he was right, she would of course take Gigi. It was a part of Christopher that she could help grow up... it was Rory's sister!

She had phoned the lawyer the day before and knew he would be here, with Gigi, sometime today. It seemed everything was happening so quickly, Lorelai felt she hadn't even had time to take a deep breath.

It was only minutes after she had woken up that the door bell rang. Getting dressed quickly she flew downstairs to answer the door. "Mr. Laymen," she said as she looked up, and then stopped. "Mom?"

"Lorelai, what is wrong with you?" Emily Gilmore asked as she walked in without being invited.

"What are you talking about mom?"

"You're adopting Gigi?" she stated in a nearly uncomprehendable voice. "I mean really Lorelai, have you gone crazy?"

"No mom I haven't," she said as she closed the door. "This is what Christopher wanted, so it's what I have to do."

"Please, Christopher obviously wasn't thinking when he thought of this," Emily argued. "And if he was, _obviously_ he didn't think it would ever actually happen.

Tears burned Lorelai's eyes as she whispered, "But it did happen."

"That doesn't mean you have to do this Lorelai," Emily insisted.

"Mom, what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "Christopher's mother certainly can't look after her, do you want to?"

"Don't be ridiculous, I can't take her," Emily scoffed.

"Well I'm certainly not allowing Rory's _sister_ to go to a foster home," Lorelai told her. "Not when I'm in the position to stop it."

Emily sighed as the door bell rang again. Lorelai opened the door and the lawyer came in, carrying little Gigi. "Ms. Gilmore," he said, nodding towards Lorelai.

"Mr. Laymen, hello," Lorelai said as she shut the door behind him, shooting her mother a 'say-anything-rude-and-I'll-shoot-you' look. "And hi Gigi," she said as she went over and brushed her hand through the childs hair. Carefully taking her from the mans arms she marvelled in how warm the child was. And how much she looked like Rory when she was young.

"Oh, this is my mother Emily Gilmore," Lorelai told him as they walked into the kitchen. "She wanted to be here to see Gigi as well."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Gilmore," he said, shaking her hand quickly. "Now Lorelai, if we can go into the kitchen I have some stuff to discuss with you."

"Of course, it's right through there," she told him. Giving her mother another menacing look she followed the lawyer.

After discussing the formalities of the whole issue, ignoring upset sighs from Emily, and signing different papers for different things the lawyer began to pack everything back up. "Ms. Gilmore," he said, "I believe everything here is in order. Someone from social services will be by tomorrow to ask you some questions and look at the house." Lorelai nodded. "Also, there's something you may want to know before you make this official..." 


	7. Chapter Six

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!  
**Author's Note:** It is so cool to see so many people have listed this story as a favourite, or have it on alert. I'm glad y'all are enjoying! And thanks to StephieM, 'cause I'm happy to admit when I overlook something... I hadn't even thought of money! Part of this chapter is 'cause of her.

* * *

Lorelai sat back against her headboard. Gigi was curled up at the foot of the bed with a pillow sleeping softly. Lorelai smiled. She'd made the right choice. When she'd decided to take custody of Gigi she did so because she felt she could offer the best home for the child, and now she was certain.

She wouldn't be safe with Christopher's mother, because in her eyes she would never be perfect. Lorelai knew what that was like... she'd grown up like that. She watched Rory grow up like that. And now, and now Gigi would have it the hardest.

When Christopher's lawyer had told her he had decided she should have custody of Gigi she figured it was because Rory hadn't graduated college yet, she was barely 21. That's even how the lawyer described it, but Lorelai knew better now. Christopher had changed it the day he had learned. He wanted the best for Gigi, and though Rory loves her sister and would try... she wouldn't be best. Not now. But Lorelai, Lorelai he knew, would manage.

And the money! God, the money. Lorelai still couldn't believe the amount of money Christopher had put aside for Gigi... and Rory. There was so much saved. She knew his family wasn't likely to help financially with Gigi, so her money she could understand. But nearly half a million dollars was put away for Rory, where did he find that type of money?

Watching Gigi's chest rise and fall with each breath she took Lorelai's heart broke for the child. She was going to grow up without both her parents in her life, without her grandparents. Only she, Lorelai, would be there through the ups and downs of her childhood. But one look at the photo of Rory on her bedside table and she knew, that was exactly what Christopher wanted.

So money wasn't an issue... Christopher had made sure of that. Everything would be covered, Lorelai didn't need to worry about that. So that was one down, a million things left. How would Rory take all this? And Luke, could Luke be as accepting as he had seemed to be? What about the inn? This was going to be so time consuming on her part. And her family, could they ever accept Gigi? OK, her family was a small matter in her mind, but the question was still there in the back of her mind.

But, of course, the biggest question on her mind... how does one raise a blind child? 


	8. Chapter Seven

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

**_I Miss My Friend_** was recorded by **Darryl Worley** and can be found on his cd of the same name, and also on his **Have You Forgotten** one!

* * *

_I miss the look of surrender in your eyes  
The way your soft brown would fall  
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love  
Oh but baby most of all  
I miss my friend_

The one my heart and soul confided in  
The one I felt the safest with  
The one who knew just what to say  
And make me laugh again  
And let the light back in  
I miss my friend

I miss the colours that you brought into my life  
Your golden smile those blue green eyes  
And I miss your gentle voice at lonely times like now  
Sayin' it'll be aliright  
I miss my friend

The one my heart and soul confided in  
The one I felt the safest with  
The one who knew just what to say  
To make me laugh again  
And let the light back in  
I miss my friend

I miss those times, I miss those nights  
I even miss our silly fights  
The makin' up, the mornin' talks  
And those late afternoon walks  
I miss my friend

The one my heart and soul confided in  
The one I felt the safest with  
The one who knew just what to say  
To make me laugh again  
And let the light back in  
I miss my friend  
I miss my friend  
I miss my friend

* * *

Lorelai had spent the entire day in bed. Sookie had picked Gigi up early to take her out with the kids for that day to give Lorelai sometime to herself. But she didn't want to do anything. Talk to anyone. She just wanted to think.

It had been a month since the funeral, a solid four weeks. In all that time the pain hadn't subsided, it was still so raw, so... real. Christopher was gone and there was nothing else she could think about. It hurt, real bad, and she was starting to feel she wouldn't get through it.

She needed Rory, but they still were barely talking. Lorelai thought that Christopher's passing would bring the two of them together. They needed each other now.

And Luke! Lorelai needed Luke, but he wasn't around. Well, he was always around. He'd come by everyday, with food, and toys. But she wasn't noticing him, not really. Her mind was on Christopher.

She was crying herself to sleep at night, she couldn't believe the pain in her heart. A long time ago she'd given up on anything between her and Christopher, but now that it was final she couldn't put the what if's out of her mind

What if they'd gotten married when she was pregnant?  
What if they'd gotten together when he showed up ready to commit?  
What if Gigi had never entered the picture?  
What if?

When the telephone rang it made her jump. She hadn't picked up since that fateful day, she always phoned back. But she was being silly, Christopher was dead. He was gone now, she couldn't get that phone call again.

"Hello?"

"Lorelai?"

"Dad, what do you need?" she asked. She heard a sigh on the other end. "Dad, dad, what is it?" she asked when he said nothing.

"Are you sitting down?" her father asked. Lorelai began to shake. 


	9. Chapter Eight

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!  
**Author's Note:** I just want to thank y'all again for the great reviews, I get many each night and it feels good to know y'all want more!

* * *

Lorelai stared at herself in the full length mirror, again drapped in black. She had gone out to buy a new dress, she didn't feel right wearing the same one she'd worn to Christopher's funeral, but it didn't matter. She couldn't get Christopher's being gone from her mind, even now. She knew she should cry, be upset, because of _this_ but no, the tears were for Chris.

She still couldn't believe this was happening, life wasn't fair. One blow after the next. And this was two, and trouble always comes in three. Who would be the next person? Would it be her? Oh God, no, she told herself she couldn't think that way. She had a baby to think about, to raise.

This funeral would be different. It would be filled with people she didn't know, or didn't like, and it would drag on forever. She would feel bad that she _didn't_ feel bad. She would wonder if her bad thoughts had finally done what she had prayed they'd do at her worst times. But she didn't _really_ want this. No person really wanted this, but it was inevitable.

Everybody will die someday, somehow. At least she knew this was an easy passing. This thought made her think back to Christopher. No one had given her the details of the crash, but from the pieces she'd gotten she knew... that wasn't easy. Tears ran down her cheeks as someone came into the room.

"Do you need anything?" It was Luke. Lorelai laughed at his timing and shook her head.

"No, not anymore," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might need me," he told her.

"But-"

"I know, I know," he interrupted, "but that doesn't matter right now. I just want to be here for you, do something for you. I don't want to sit at home right now Lorelai, it doesn't feel right." Lorelai smiled.

"Can you watch Gigi?" she asked. "While I go to the funeral that is. I don't think she should have to go to two in a month at two years old, that's not right."

"Of course I'll watch Gigi," he said, pulling her into a hug. "She likes me you know."

"Really? Maybe it's in the air around here." Picking up her purse of the bed Lorelai started to leave.

"Lorelai?" His voice sounded so quiet, so... not like Luke. Turning slowly the thought of the third death being their relationship flashed in her mind as he said, "I love you." Lorelai smiled as she let out a subtle sigh of relief.

"I love you too Luke." 


	10. Chapter Nine

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!  
**Author's Note:** Eep! Don't shoot me, I didn't mean to leave y'all with the cliffhanger this time. Really, I didn't. I knew I'd be gone for the weekend so I had uploaded three chapters, the last which would leave you _without_ any suspense while I was gone... and I forgot to add two of them to the story. D'oh!

* * *

Emily Gilmore had always been the biggest pain in Lorelai's a-- neck. Always. There were days growing up the Lorelai wished her mother would just be sucked into a hole. Days she never wanted to see her mother again. But she never thought of her mother dying.

It wasn't easy to understand. So many times she had wished Emily Gilmore would disappear, but now that she was gone Lorelai saw just how much she had gotten from her mother. She _was_ Lorelai because of her mother. She had Emily's stubborness, which helped her get to where she was in life. She never gave up when there was a fighting chance, just like her mother. And most importantly, she wanted what was best for her daughter...

* * *

The service was dry, full of DAR women and family Lorelai had never met. Not many tears were shed, but the silence spoke the lost so many felt. Lorelai couldn't bear to look over at her father, she knew the hurt his face would show. The same hurt her face wore during Christopher's funeral, the same heart Lorelai couldn't shake.

Rory had come with Lorelai again, but the two were as distant as ever. Lorelai had hoped that with the events of the last months her daughter would be there for her, that Rory would let Lorelai be there for her daughter. But apparently not. Lorelai knew Rory was turning to Logan for comfort, she just hoped he was there for her when she needed it.

At least she had Luke. Everytime she was with him this past month she waited for him to leave, but he appeared to be right by her side. With all that was going on she felt her life was too messed up for Luke to be there, but he was. She wasn't going to question that fact any further.

Just at the end of the service her cell phone rang. She closed her eyes when she realized she'd forgotten to turn it off. Quickly taking it from her purse she saw Luke's name on the call display. This had to be an emergency, because he knew where she was. 


	11. Chapter Ten

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

Lorelai got to the hospital as quickly as she could. She realized it looked bad rushing away from her mothers funeral, and she saw the irony of how Emily Gilmore would be the one who disapproved the most at her actions. But Luke had called, and he sounded scared.

"Lorelai, there you are!" It was Luke. She rushed towards him. "The doctor says she'll be ok, but she'll have to stay here a while."

"What happened?"

"I turned my back for two seconds to get her dinner and she put something in her mouth and started choking." Lorelai was certain he had said all that without taking a breath. "I got her here immediatly because I knew I would have her here before the ambulance could even arrive at your place and the doctor says he thinks it might have been just quick enough. They'll know more tomorrow.

"I am so, so sorry Lorelai," he continued. "I, I knew not to turn my back on her, but I did. This is my fault."

"This is not your fault," she argued.

"Yes it is," he insisted. Before she could argue back the doctor came out to talk with her.

* * *

After hearing everything from the doctor Lorelai could breath more easily. Gigi had found a breath mint somewhere and put it in her mouth, and began choking on it. The doctor said she was without oxygen for a long time, but it appeared she had suffered no long term side effects from it. Simply put, the doctor said it was a miracle.

After checking on Gigi in the nursery and seeing her sleeping softly she went back to the waiting room. Sitting down beside Luke who had his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry Loreali," he whispered. She stayed silent for a moment.

"You know," she finally said. "When Rory was four she fell off my bed when I let her jump on it. She hit her head on my bedside table, there's a nice scar right on her hairline just above her left ear actually.

"She had to be in the hospital for a week, and doctors were worried that she'd hit her head too hard and there might have been brain damage. Lord knows with that Logan kid it may finally be showing. Point is Luke, people make mistakes." Luke looked up as Lorelai put her hand on his back. "_Parents_ make mistakes."

Nodding slowly Luke sat back in his chair. "Does Rory really have a scar?" he asked.

"Yeah, but she doesn't know," she admitted. "I'd appreciate you never telling her, it's a parent thing."

"Keeping from your child that she fell on her head when she was four is a parent thing?" he asked in amazement.

"Of course," she replied. "You don't think your nose got like that naturally do you? Now, I'm going to go check on Gigi again," she added. Luke nodded.

As she walked away he shouted behind her, "Hey, what's wrong with my nose? Lorelai?" 


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

Lorelai felt guilty. She knew there was no reason for her to, but she did. Christopher was gone and there she was making casual jokes with Luke. Somehow, it just didn't feel right.

She needed to grieve, but how could she when her every waking moment was devoted to Gigi? She already loved that little girl as though she was her own daughter, but it hurt her everytime she looked at her. She was proof that Christopher was gone, proof that life would never be the same.

Through all this Lorelai had learned to be thankful though. Luke was by her side through every waking moment, and had a twinkle in his eye every time he held Gigi. She was lucky to have him, and Gigi was lucky too. Rory too. It amazed her that Luke didn't flinch before taking this all on, never once gave the impression that he wanted out. She was going to keep him, she wanted him here. He wasn't Christopher, that she knew, but... he was meant for her.

* * *

When Lorelai arrived home that evening with Gigi in her arms she fumbled with the lock as she made sure she was holding Gigi tight. Luke had gone to the diner to check on Ceaser and make sure everything was alright, but he assured her he would be there soon.

After she had put Gigi in her crib in Rory's old room she slowly looked around. She had packed up anything of Rory's that was left, except her Harvard stuff. She didn't know why, but she had found that in the closet and put it on top of the dresser. There was no explanation, except maybe Rory was the same age as Gigi when Lorelai had brought home a Harvard pamphlet. She had found it at a table at Luke's and thought the pictures looked neat so she put it in her purse. That evening when she took her wallet out to pay for the pizza that had come it fell out, and Rory became mesmorized by it. It sat on top of the large pile of Harvard paraphernalia Rory had collected over the years now, and though Gigi couldn't see it, she wanted her to have the chance to become mesmorized with it another way. She wanted Gigi to have anything she could, so why throw out what got Rory started so young?

Hearing a knock at the door she jumped up, thinking it was Luke. Confused why he had knocked she opened the door but he wasn't there. No one was there. Closing the door she noticed an envelope on the ground. Picking it up she felt like she was going to faint. She knew that handwriting. 


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

She couldn't open it, she refused to. Quickly she ran to the kitchen. Looking for a place to put it she ran from one end of the room to the other. Finally she opened a drawer and put it inside, carefully putting stuff on top. She couldn't have more heartache in her life, she couldn't read what that note had to say.

Jumping when she heard Luke come in, she ran back to the door. Putting her arms around his neck she kissed him. "What was that for?" he asked.

"For being here," she told him. "For being alive, for loving me." Luke looked at her out of the corner of his eye.  
"Are you ok?" he asked. "You seem pale and you're breathing hard."

"I'm fine," she told him, "I just got Gigi in bed and I am so tired. It's been a trying day."

"I never got to ask," he started as he lead her towards the couch, "how was the funeral?

"Well that's a stupid question since it was a funeral," he began to ramble. "But was it ok? Or, you know, were you ok? How was Rory? And your dad?"

"Luke," she said to get him to calm down. "The funeral was weird. All the times I dreamt of being at my mothers funeral I honestly never thought it would happen. And of course I never really wanted it to happen. It was so strange to sit there and realize that she's gone, really gone.

"My dad seemed pretty shook up, worse even then when my grandmother died. He couldn't seem to grasp anything being said and just sat there with a glass of whiskey, which I never saw him drink from, and a vacant look on his face. I'm going to go see him tomorrow, maybe without all those people around I'll be able to get a better sense of what he's thinking.

"As for Rory, well I don't know. She didn't talk to me at all, but she looked upset. Logan was there, so she cried on his shoulder. I did see her looking a little confused when I ran out of there after your phone call, but I'll try phoning her tomorrow. If all I can do is leave a message then so be it."

Luke looked over at Lorelai. She looked so tired, as if she hadn't had any sleep in days. He knew she was stretched thin, he just wished he could be here more than he already was. "Lorelai, this might not be the time," he began, "but, will you marry me?" Lorelai laughed.

"You're a little late," she told him, "I already covered that." Luke shook his head.

"No, I mean will you marry me now?" he corrected.

"What?" Lorelai asked. "Is this a joke?"

"Of course not," he said. "Let's go to New York, and let's make this official."

"Luke..."

"I love you Lorelai, more than anything in this world. I love Rory, and I love Gigi. I have watched Rory grow up, I have been there through her first kiss, her first love. Learning to driving and her first day at Chilton, he first day at Yale, and Lord knows how many other firsts.

"And I have every intention of experiencing that with Gigi as well. Maybe I'm not a father, but I sure as hell feel like one when it comes to those two girls. And maybe I wasn't a sucessful husband during my first try, but this time I'm marrying a woman who never gives up. I need you in my life Lorelai, and I _need_ to be there for you during all this. The way I feel, the way I want to be here even more makes me realize that you and I are meant to do this, meant to be together, so why not now?

"I do realize all the stuff going on right now, and how you might not want this to be associated with all this crap that's happening. But marriage is about the bad times just as it is about the good times, so let's get married."

Lorelai was speechless. 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye.  
**Spoilers:** **ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

After a few moments Lorelai turned and looked at Luke. "Are you going to say anything?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

After another moment he shrugged, "So what are you going to say?"

"No Luke," she started, "I mean yes. Of course I'll marry you, now."

"Really?" he asked. "I gotta admit, I didn't think you would I just wanted you to know I was open to the opton."

"So you don't want to get married now?" she asked.

He jumped up. "Oh I definitely want to get married now, let's go."

"Wait," she whispered. "Rory should be there, let me phone her."

"Of course Rory should be there," Luke said. "Sookie and Jackson should be too."

"You're right," she said, her excitement evident in her voice. "You phone them, I'll phone Rory."

* * *

Lorelai was surprised when Rory had picked up, knowing she had call display. Explaining what was happening she was ready to hear objections on it happening at this time, but Rory just said she would be there. No doubt she'd bring Logan, but Lorelai didn't care. This was a happy day. She was marrying the man she loved, and both her daughters would be there.

It wasn't until after she'd thought this that she stopped. _Daughters._ It was plural, and so beautiful. She realized Gigi brought something into her life that she had been missing since the day Rory started Yale. Something she was beginning to feel she would never have again.

When Luke left to go get a good suit Lorelai began to head upstairs to get something to wear when she stopped. Heading into the kitchen she went straight for the drawer and opened it. Knowing the letter would be exactly where she had left it she didn't even look as she pulled it out. She knew she had to read this, she had to know what it said. Before. Before she was to be married. Before she was to be happily ever after. Before she started over.

Opening the seal carefully she carefully unfolded the letter and took a deep breath. 


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Last Goodbye, New Beginning**

**Author:** aynat  
**Description:** A funeral, a baby and a new beginning. To start over Lorelai needs to say goodbye..  
**Spoilers:** ONE MAJOR ONE FROM SEASON SIX (well... season five finale on)  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Gilmore Girls characters, though I would kindly pay for Luke. I make no money from this, it's purely for fun!

* * *

_Dear Lorelai, _

I owe you more thanks than I have ever been capable of expressing. You have shown me more love than any person ever has, and it's because of you that my life has been perfect. But I have to say goodbye now, evidently, but I do it with a heavy heart. I have never wanted to let you go, ever, but time and time again fate has failed to bring us together. Now it is too late and the chance is gone.

You have shown me what a true soul mate is. Because of you I am the person I am. I listen to my heart and I follow it. It was never easy, but in the end it has always been worth it.

I already miss you, and I will everyday for the rest of forever. But we're not meant to be, not now. Back then yes, of course we were, because we have Rory now. I have never viewed that as a mistake. And it was Gigi who showed me that our being apart was meant to be as well.

As I write this letter I don't know if you'll recieve it, that depends on whether you adopt Gigi or not. However, if you do than I can not begin to explain the amount of gratitude I will feel. I will always watch over my girls, and I want to know they're safe. Rory is, Rory always was. That's why I have asked that you be given custody of Gigi.

I know you will raise her as you did Rory, and I know she will become the best person she can be. You won't see her as disabled, you will simply teach her it's an obstacle she'll have to learn to overcome. I know you, you will want her to have everything life has to offer, because in the end it's not whether she's seen it or not that matters, just knowing she did.

I feel it's important you know why I asked you to take Gigi, and I wish I could tell you myself, but it is three in the morning and tomorrow I will die. It's hard to explain how I know, but I know. I think God, yes, God, has given me this insight to make sure I have everything straightened out for my daughters. I want Gigi with you because something deep inside me tells me that you can provide the family she needs and deserves. Rory has always been a wonderful sister to her, and over time I'm sure the two will become close. Rory will feel what Gigi feels and Gigi will see what Rory sees. I know it.

You will be the mother Gigi has always deserved, the one she needs. You will teach her right from wrong, how big the world is, and I am sure how necessary coffee is. She will grow up to be a beautiful, intelligent, witty woman. She will, because she will grow up to be like you.

Finally the most important piece of the puzzle. Luke will be the dad she needs. I'm her father, and I know you'll make sure she always knows, but I'll be gone and she deserves to have someone there. I know Luke will be. You two are meant to be together, just as you and I were meant to be at one time. That's just how it is, and I accept that. He was a step-father to Rory before either of you even realized it, and I know Rory is partly who she is today because of that. I want that for Gigi, because she deserves it.

I love you Lorelai Gilmore, I always have and always will.

Lorelai looked into Gigi's room to see the child awake. The tears burned her eyes as she read the note over again. She was partly right, Christopher had asked that she raise Gigi because he felt she was the right one to do it. He wanted Gigi to have what Rory had growing up. She just never dreamed that meant Luke. Christopher wanted Luke in Gigi's life. He knew, he knew Luke would be there even when she didn't. Looking upwards she smiled. "I love you too Christopher," she whispered. "And I'll see you again someday,"

Looking at Gigi again she smiled. She didn't have to say goodbye to Christopher, because part of him was right before her.


End file.
